Charging the cardinal is a tiny part of the story

JULY 2 2017

This week's jest has rather classier origins than usual. It comes from the book that has just won this year's Man Booker International Prize, A Horse Walks into a Bar, by Israeli writer, David Grossman. It goes like this …

I'm walking around town when I see an old guy, maybe 80, all dried up like a raisin, sitting on a street bench crying. An old man crying? How can I not go over? I walk up to him softly and ask, "Sir, why are you crying?"

"What else can I do?" the old man answers. "A month ago, I met a 30-year-old woman. She's beautiful, adorable, sexy, and we fell in love and moved in together."

"That's awesome!" I say. "So what's the problem?"

Old guy says, "I'll tell you. We start every day with two hours of wild sex, then she makes me some pomegranate juice for the iron, and I go to the doctor's office. I come back, we have more wild sex, and she makes me a spinach quiche for the antioxidants. In the afternoon I play cards with the guys at the club, I come home, we have wild sex into the night, and this is how it goes, day after day …"

"Sounds fantastic!" I tell him, "I'd like me some of that! But then why are you crying?"

Old guy thinks for a minute and says, "I can't remember where I live."

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